In an effort to prove that Canadians can be just as dumb as Americans, Montrealer Jeffrey Macesin was recently pulled over by the police for using his stupid Apple Watch while driving. The cost of being a friggin’ moron behind the wheel in Quebec? One-hundred and twenty maple-scented Canadian dollars. (Roughly ninety-six fart-scented American dollars.) Regardless of the exchange rate, that’s not nearly enough in this writer’s opinion.
See QHSC Section 439.1
Macesin readily admits to using his dumb smartwatch whilst driving, thinking that doing such a thing was a-okay, despite it being an obvious distraction. The device was wirelessly connected to his smartphone, and Macesin was using it to control the music playing through his car stereo, which was non-wirelessly connected to the phone.
Macesin remarked, “I have [my smartphone] in the bag charging while the auxiliary cable is plugged into the radio and [the watch] controls my phone to play the music. So I was changing songs with my hand on the steering wheel. […] there was a cop behind me and he didn’t have his lights on yet, but then he turned them on and I thought maybe he just wanted me to get out of the way. I was just confused.”
Sorry, doofus, you weren’t just confused, you were also breaking the law. The ticketing officer cited Section 439.1 of the Quebec Highway Safety Code. This section reads, in part, “No person may, while driving a road vehicle, use a hand-held device that includes a telephone function.” The law was initially instituted to discourage drivers from operating their smartphones while driving.
More specifically, it was intended to target those who text while driving. People who do such are commonly known as the stupidest people in the world, and I hate them all. Hate is a strong word, it’s true, and not one to be used lightly, but if you’re willing to put your life, and the lives of who knows how many others, in danger because you just have to write “LOL totes” back to your ugly, smelly friend right now, then, yes, I hate you. I hate you so, so hard. People die because of that kind of $#!t, man. Keep your eyes on the road, dummy.
Plans to Contest
Macesin says he plans on contesting the ticket because, technically, the Apple Watch doesn’t include a telephone function. (Which it absolutely should, BTW. That’s the only thing that would make it worth the money or the trouble. As is, it’s a stupid, unnecessary smartphone accessory. Anyhoo…) Because it merely includes that Bluetooth-esque phone connection feature, Dipstick Magoo argues that it should instead be treated like a Bluetooth device, the use of which while driving is legal in Quebec.
However, the fact that the smartwatch has a screen makes it a different kettle of fish. The reason Bluetooth earpieces are allowed is because they eliminate the need to look at a screen, and thereby eliminate the distraction. A Bluetooth can be activated with a single push of a button—or less. Using a smartwatch requires looking at the screen. BOOM! Distraction. BOOM! Illegal.
Sorry not sorry, Jeffrey Macesin of Montreal, Quebec, Canada. Just shut up and pay up, lawbreaker.